Form Dan Kline Message 1 From: newbie@pupman.com I am thinking about making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. Please advise. Message 2 From: vpitempkin@pupman.com Peanut butter should be slowly stirred for 17 hours and 32 minutes, then evaporated to a specifc gravity of 92.7 exactly. After lightly sanding the surface of the bread with drywall sanding net, apply the peanut butter in three very thin layers to the upper surface of the bottom slice of bread and smooth with a 3 inch rubber spatula. Various applications of jelly and jam will yield different results. Contact me off list if you’d like me to send you the complete schematic for a hand designed peanut-butter stirrer, or a steam powered toaster designed to provide precise breadal alignment in the last few minutes of toasting. It’s patently obvious that other methods of preparation produce an inferior sandwich. Message 3 From: regular@pupman.com Peanut butter and Jelly is the only sandwich worth making. I have been living on PBJ for ten years now, with great success. Message 4 From: PPA@pupman.com I can’t imagine why anyone would voluntarily make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s tiresome, irresponsible, and the end result is less attractive than the sardines with onions that real coilers prefer. Wake up and smell the sardines. Message 5 From: whybother@pupman.com I buy the peanut butter and jelly already mixed together in the jar at Kroger. I don't know what it's made of, but it's good. You can also order them ready made from the deli, in a little styro box with a bag of chips, for $5 each. Message 6 From: purist@pupman.com It doesn't matter what you put on the bread, as long as it has a workable bread body. You need to mix your own bread by hand, mixing the dry ingredients first (wear a flour mask). I have been making my own bread with my own recipes all my life, and today's sandwich makers have no idea what making a sandwich is all about. Message 7 From: bythebox@pupman.com I got a bad loaf of Taystee bread, it was the honey oatmeal kind and it had big chunks of hard stuff all the way through. When I put it in the toaster, parts of it didn't toast at all and other parts caught fire. I called the 800 number and they said to send them some of the toast, but what do I do with the rest of this loaf of bread? Message 8 From: vivelafrance@pupman.com Attached please find the MSDS data for peanut butter. Life threatening peanut allergies would require the use of an airtight kevlar suit, asbestos gloves and enclosed oxygen-tank breathing system. By no means should these substances be ingested, or breathed airborn particles. (Attachment) Message 9 From: eurocoiler@pupman.com Can someone please explain to me what PBJ stands for? What is a Kroger? Please remember that the pupman list is an international list and not everyone lives in the continental US or speaks “American”... Message 10 From: taysteebread@pupman.com I am writing to respond to a recent attack on my company. I want to remind sandwich makers that flour is a naturally grown product and might contain varying amounts of weevils, microscopic molds and other variations that are beyond our control. We recommend that buyers test a slice of bread before committing to an entire meal. The loaf in question was tested at the bakery and passed with flying colors. The fault was in the toasting methods of the individual buyer. Message 11 From: McRantimator@pupman.com I’d like to see some of these so called peanut butter sandwiches of yours. I was making peanut butter sandwiches before you ever thought about making lunch, and they are way out of your league. Why don’t you ask your rich daddy to hire you a cook to make your lunch? Be sure to wipe the peanut butter off your mouth before you go back to kissing up to the man. I’m going to go wash down my peanut butter with a red stripe or two. Message 12 From: predictable@pupman.com I think this topic of peanut butter sandwiches has gone on long enough. Shouldn’t the moderator do his job and stop posting this annoying drivel? Message 13 From: coilgoddess@pupman.com Here are the jelly and jam tests for Pete’s strawberry, Orange marmalade, Raspberry jam with and without seeds, Apricot Shino, and Grape purple on both white bread and whole wheat.. (Attachment) Message 14 From: moderator@pupman.com make the sandwich. make 100 of them, and you will begin to understand how a sandwich works. then make 100 more. it’s lunch. Everyone has to eat. Message 15 From: primalblather@pupman.com When I was a kid, my grandmother taught me to make jam from berries we picked in the woods behind the hunting cabin up north... now I pick berries with my little homeschooled children to mix in breastmilk yogurt and we make organic fruit juice sweetened jam and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... Yours, Kelly in the flatlands, where we’ll have pbj today as soon as we drop off 7 loaves of fresh whole wheat bread at the soup kitchens and blah blah blah blah blah.... Message 16 From: coilguru@pupman.com Coilgoddess, according to my calculations your blackberry recipe is a little too high in the proportion of sugar to pectin. It seems it would run off the sides of the sandwich, and might be unstable with an acidic bread such as sourdough buns. I’m sending a revised recipe that might give better results. (Attachment) Message 17 From: fedup@pupman.com This subject has been covered on the pupman list exhaustively in the past. If you’d check the archives under “lunch options” you wouldn’t have to waste everybody’s time. Message 18 From: Txjunkyard@pupman.com I have made servicable butter knives for spreading purposes out of road signs, cut out with a metal saw and filed to the appropriate shapes. I don’t use a knife myself, having built a peanut butter extruder out of the shock absorbers of a 57 chevy truck. I have found that making toast is nicest if you use a wood fired toaster. Message 19 From: TxRed@pupman.com Peanut butter and jelly is a fine sandwich. Go ahead and try it, and let us know how it turns out. Message 20 From: mustlightenup@pupman.com I really don’t think this is an appropriate conversation for a public forum. All this discussion of buns and kissing up seems completely unnecessary. What if a kindergarten class were to read the pupman list and find all this debauchery? Really, moderator, this has gone far enough. Message 20 From: redherring@pupman.com The issue of sandwiches and lunchmaking is not as simple as it may sound. For some people, peanut butter is a deadly toxin; others with diabetes can not enjoy the jellies and jams you all seem to take for granted. It is high time we in this country recognize the plot on the part of the food industry to poison our planet and its inhabitants with dangerous and sub-standard nutritive substances, all in the name of marketing and the almighty dollar. When will the world wake up and recognize that sustainably harvested wheatgrass juice and non genetically modified soy products are the key to human survival in an increasingly hostile world? Message 21 From: lostandfound@pupman.com I would like to join the pupman list please. I have a white computer with a grey keyboard, sitting on my kitchen counter in Podnik, Iowa. Please connect me to your discussion group. Message 22 From: moderator@pupman.com peanut butter and jelly is done. time to move on. the moderator.